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Your Value, Part 1

This is the first in a series of blog posts exploring some ways all women can embrace our power, purpose, and value. The concepts of a woman’s power, purpose, and value are part of the mission statement of the Family of Women, an international organization of women of which the authors are members.

The Treasure Chest of YOU
Your Value, Part 1

 

How do you know what your value is? It’s easy to find out the value of our possessions, like our car or home. Someone else sets the value, or “the marketplace” determines it. How do you measure your own value? Do you allow someone else to set your personal value, too?

The definition of value is “the regard that something is held to deserve.” OK, try this on: What regard do you hold yourself to deserve? What are you “worth”?

Knowing and owning or appreciating your value will help you to lead a powerful life. The kind of life that makes a difference. The kind of life that people remember. The kind of life you love living.

How do you know how valuable you are? How much do you let others’ opinions influence how you judge your own value? What “stuff” might you have to throw out before you can begin the process of looking at who you are?

It’s a choice to value yourself.

You have value, regardless of what you may think it is. Embracing that value, choosing to believe that you have value is the first step. You have intrinsic value, and just knowing this could shift your entire life.

Have you ever thought about yourself as a treasure chest? Have you ever peeked into it? Maybe you’ve only looked for the bling and the shiny, and if there wasn’t anything shiny, or not enough bling, what then? What are your “Hidden gems”?

Here’s what two women have to say:

For me, it is not about quantifying my value. Instead, I consciously choose to believe I have inherent value.

“I finally got to the place in my life where I was sick of my story that ‘I’m not good enough.’ The only way to change my story was to choose a different story. So, in front of women who support me to be my best self, I made a commitment to let go of my story that ‘I’m not good enough’ and to replace it with choosing to embrace my value.

“Making that commitment to myself in the presence of women who have my back helped me keep that commitment. Now when the voice of doubt whispers that ‘I’m not good enough,’ I remember the choice I made to embrace my value. Embracing my value has led me to a whole new level of self-acceptance, created the space for learning about myself, and helped me open my eyes to who I am and can be in the world.”

-Susan

 

Because of my cultural background, being born as a female was not considered worthy. I used to feel that If I died no one would notice.

“Going fast forward, I never had the teenage attitude but I had it at the age of 20 as a result of being turned away by my parents, when I asked if I could stay with them. Trying to avoid being homeless was so big in my mind that I was driven to stay focused. My survival instinct kicked in. It was life or death. So much of that time in my life was about keeping going no matter what. It wasn’t like I was making choices coming from feeling empowered–it was coming from scarcity.

“I felt it was necessary to be bold but didn’t know how. I was focused on how to get what I needed no matter what – persist and persevere. Fight or flight was present in my nervous system. I took on having the attitude ‘stay out of my way! – I can do better than you!’ It was so hard, but I stayed focused even when I was down. These times were hard… asking myself ‘Is it worth living really?’ I was in fear rather than coming from a trusting place.  I was upset and angry that I was in this space. I felt like I needed to show my parents I can make it work without their help. There were many times I have said, ‘I’m done, I’m done’, when I didn’t know who to turn to or where to go. Tough time in my life.. I kept working 3-4 jobs at a time. I finally got a break making a decent salary to find a place of my own.

“Yes, it truly was the toughest time in my life but those hard times brought me to be humble, feel grateful, have empathy, accept people where they are, love them unconditionally. I have empathy for people. I know we all come with stories from the past and really all we want is for someone to acknowledge us and be loved.

“Today, I’m thankful for all the crap that I endured. It taught me to love and accept without judgements and assumptions. I truly want the best for everyone. I don’t have to pretend anymore that I don’t know much or that my opinion isn’t valuable or worthy. I am so grateful to be on this journey knowing what I have or don’t have — it’s all good. I know what it was like not having anyone on my side to cheer me on or to affirm I am good or worthy. That’s okay too.

“What I have learned is that I have a choice today, this moment, to make my life however I would like it to be. To be nurtured, nourished, and to be happy. I am the only one who can decide to practice how to take care of myself with extreme care. To love, be gentle, and to be kind to myself. It doesn’t matter what others feel or think. It is my life. I can do as I please as I choose what is good for my soul. Being on this journey and being aware of each moment is a gift. Gratitude brings joy. In everyone I come across, my job is to allow people to feel and acknowledge themselves.”

-Janine

 

When you make the choice to embrace your value and feel worthy, you can find treasures that were “hidden in plain sight” – qualities and characteristics you embody, like vibrant energy, patience, empathy, focus, listening, a sense of humor, and love.”

Are you ready to choose to embrace your value? Tune in to our next blog to find ways to do just that.

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